I got my first comment here today! So it's a proof that someone just read what I'm writing here, yay! :)
As today is the 3rd anniversary of my engagement to my hubby, I thought I could write a little bit about our journey together. Maybe I divide the story into two or three parts, since there's been a lot going on in our life. But again, excuse any mistakes you see. I never check my posts before sending them online! It's after publishing them, that I notice mistakes...
A lovely Winter day, 2009
I honestly don't remember the very first time I found out that there's this guy who is trying to reach me. I had just become a member of a website for all Anzali citizens, and naturally most of us were young. I was 21, and let me tell you, I had never tried dating! It's not acceptable to be boyfriend and girlfriend or date before being officially introduced to both side's families or even asking a girl's hand in marriage in Iran. So I was really inexperienced back then, but Mostafa was pretty much a professional! He was one of those charming boys that you meet online, or anywhere else for that matter, and instantly he makes you feel you've known him for a decade! You share your secrets like celebrity news with this guy, and then, when you find the opportunity to rethink and reflect on what you did, you may even regret it, but he makes you feel that it was the most natural thing at the time!
He started sending messages and occasionally flirting, which I responded to politely. I wasn't the kind of girl to go head over heels for some guy or get too excited about talking to a cute boy. Mostafa says that he felt there was something different about me from the very beginning:"All the other girls, they were always trying to play cool and pretend that they don't care, but you were cool, and you really didn't care that I was trying to flirt with you. You knew what was coming your way, and you were calm about it, not even getting too flattered. You were real".
We started chatting outside the website, and became friends, social ones of course. He gave me his phone number, but I didn't call for a few more months, just wanting to make sure he wasn't a web psycho who would later spill my personal secrets everywhere or tell everyone that I was his friend.
Talking to him was easy. He was educated and knew how to treat a girl. He had an associate's degree in electronics, and he seemed like a very cool guy with modern beliefs, unlike his name, which is a very traditional religous name. Mostafa, or Mustafa in Arabic, means the chosen one! He lived up to his name! He was such a free spirit, that I totally trusted him after a few months, and when he asked to meet me, I accepted.
I had seen him before. He worked with his friend at his shop, and I had figured out which of the guys in that shop is Mostafa. He didn't have a clue who I was, though, so I texted him about what I was wearing and what I would say so he could recognize me. It rained that day, and my hair went crazy, but I had promised him. We couldn't talk freely, as it would've been inappropriate, so we agreed on a definite question that I would ask. I opened the door, asked the question, he answered, and then I left in a hurry! I'm pretty sure I was blushing :)) What can I say? I was a bit shy! He texted:"Why did you leave so soon? I wanted to talk to you!" Guess he was interested from the very first word. Lol!
His friendship, even though it was nothing romantic, was such a valuable thing to me. He told me about his life. He was 25 at the time. He was the youngest among six children, two brothers and three sisters, some of whom had children of their own when he was born. He had lost his father, and lived with his mother. The rest of his siblings were married. He had fallen in love with a girl before, but the relationship didn't work and the girl broke up with him because she was opting for a more luxurios life than what a simple boy from an ordinary family could give her. He had numerous girlfriends since then, but he wasn't serious about any of them. That was just what I needed, a guy with no serious intentions, because I wasn't serious about anything, too. I was heart-broken myself. I had a crush on a guy I had known for a long time, but he had just asked one of his students to marry him and despite the fact that I had never dared to tell him how I felt, I couldn't get over him. Mostafa was the guy I could talk to. I could tell him anything and be sure that he won't judge.
So our friendship began; two young people who had to mend their hearts and needed a friend who would hear their complaints. He was searching for a job, and I was studying full time. We texted every once in a while, and rarely talked on the phone. He was still experimenting with other girls, and when I asked him how his dates or relationships went after a while, they were mostly broken and gone! Once I asked him why he had broken up with a recent girlfriend, and he answered: "She took too long to answer my texts!" I said:"I take too long to answer you too, so don't you think you should stop texting me as well?" He was like:"No. You're difderent!"
Days passed, seasons changed. Over a year and a half after we got to know each other, everything had changed and we were different people. I was free of the guy on whom I had a crush. Getting over him was hard, since he broke up with his fiancee and after that he rejected me, too. But I didn't tell Mostafa about him. He had just found a job and was getting on track and was pretty happy, so I stopped bothering him with sad news of me being rejected by a guy who had never paid attention to me in the first place! Mostafa had changed towards me. I felt like I couldn't talk to him as easily as before, since he acted like he was jealous! I tried not to pay attention, but he started mentioning that he loved me! I didn't take it seriously, actually, knowing his flirting ways. The last thing on my mind was that he might be serious about falling for me! Then, on a warm June night on 2011, Mostafa clarified that through a text while I was trying to tell him that I was not a saint! He wrote:"Look! I loved V (the girlfriend who left him) very much. Now, I have the same feelings for you, except it's been multiplied! I love you so much more than her!"
I was rejecting him now! I loved him dearly, but as a friend. Or was he really just a friend? I didn't know, but I didn't want to lose his friendship. I wanted to love him, but what if we couldn't work it out and went our separate ways one day? We could not be friends then!
So I just ignored what he said, and I did one of the worst things I could do...
I started dating another guy a few days after that!!!
It wasn't a game or a strategy to me! I liked that guy, and I had not taken Mostafa so seriously. So when he texted a few days later, I had just been to my second date with the other guy and was also really pissed that Mostafa had not texted me in a few days!! Maybe it was a sign and I should have noticed that if I am angry about not being in touch with him, so I do care about him, but instead, I told him that I was seeing someone else...
Ok guys, it's half past two now, and I really need to get some sleep because I have a gym session in the morning. See you later... Comment me about what you've read so far. Love you all...
As today is the 3rd anniversary of my engagement to my hubby, I thought I could write a little bit about our journey together. Maybe I divide the story into two or three parts, since there's been a lot going on in our life. But again, excuse any mistakes you see. I never check my posts before sending them online! It's after publishing them, that I notice mistakes...
A lovely Winter day, 2009
I honestly don't remember the very first time I found out that there's this guy who is trying to reach me. I had just become a member of a website for all Anzali citizens, and naturally most of us were young. I was 21, and let me tell you, I had never tried dating! It's not acceptable to be boyfriend and girlfriend or date before being officially introduced to both side's families or even asking a girl's hand in marriage in Iran. So I was really inexperienced back then, but Mostafa was pretty much a professional! He was one of those charming boys that you meet online, or anywhere else for that matter, and instantly he makes you feel you've known him for a decade! You share your secrets like celebrity news with this guy, and then, when you find the opportunity to rethink and reflect on what you did, you may even regret it, but he makes you feel that it was the most natural thing at the time!
He started sending messages and occasionally flirting, which I responded to politely. I wasn't the kind of girl to go head over heels for some guy or get too excited about talking to a cute boy. Mostafa says that he felt there was something different about me from the very beginning:"All the other girls, they were always trying to play cool and pretend that they don't care, but you were cool, and you really didn't care that I was trying to flirt with you. You knew what was coming your way, and you were calm about it, not even getting too flattered. You were real".
We started chatting outside the website, and became friends, social ones of course. He gave me his phone number, but I didn't call for a few more months, just wanting to make sure he wasn't a web psycho who would later spill my personal secrets everywhere or tell everyone that I was his friend.
Talking to him was easy. He was educated and knew how to treat a girl. He had an associate's degree in electronics, and he seemed like a very cool guy with modern beliefs, unlike his name, which is a very traditional religous name. Mostafa, or Mustafa in Arabic, means the chosen one! He lived up to his name! He was such a free spirit, that I totally trusted him after a few months, and when he asked to meet me, I accepted.
I had seen him before. He worked with his friend at his shop, and I had figured out which of the guys in that shop is Mostafa. He didn't have a clue who I was, though, so I texted him about what I was wearing and what I would say so he could recognize me. It rained that day, and my hair went crazy, but I had promised him. We couldn't talk freely, as it would've been inappropriate, so we agreed on a definite question that I would ask. I opened the door, asked the question, he answered, and then I left in a hurry! I'm pretty sure I was blushing :)) What can I say? I was a bit shy! He texted:"Why did you leave so soon? I wanted to talk to you!" Guess he was interested from the very first word. Lol!
His friendship, even though it was nothing romantic, was such a valuable thing to me. He told me about his life. He was 25 at the time. He was the youngest among six children, two brothers and three sisters, some of whom had children of their own when he was born. He had lost his father, and lived with his mother. The rest of his siblings were married. He had fallen in love with a girl before, but the relationship didn't work and the girl broke up with him because she was opting for a more luxurios life than what a simple boy from an ordinary family could give her. He had numerous girlfriends since then, but he wasn't serious about any of them. That was just what I needed, a guy with no serious intentions, because I wasn't serious about anything, too. I was heart-broken myself. I had a crush on a guy I had known for a long time, but he had just asked one of his students to marry him and despite the fact that I had never dared to tell him how I felt, I couldn't get over him. Mostafa was the guy I could talk to. I could tell him anything and be sure that he won't judge.
So our friendship began; two young people who had to mend their hearts and needed a friend who would hear their complaints. He was searching for a job, and I was studying full time. We texted every once in a while, and rarely talked on the phone. He was still experimenting with other girls, and when I asked him how his dates or relationships went after a while, they were mostly broken and gone! Once I asked him why he had broken up with a recent girlfriend, and he answered: "She took too long to answer my texts!" I said:"I take too long to answer you too, so don't you think you should stop texting me as well?" He was like:"No. You're difderent!"
Days passed, seasons changed. Over a year and a half after we got to know each other, everything had changed and we were different people. I was free of the guy on whom I had a crush. Getting over him was hard, since he broke up with his fiancee and after that he rejected me, too. But I didn't tell Mostafa about him. He had just found a job and was getting on track and was pretty happy, so I stopped bothering him with sad news of me being rejected by a guy who had never paid attention to me in the first place! Mostafa had changed towards me. I felt like I couldn't talk to him as easily as before, since he acted like he was jealous! I tried not to pay attention, but he started mentioning that he loved me! I didn't take it seriously, actually, knowing his flirting ways. The last thing on my mind was that he might be serious about falling for me! Then, on a warm June night on 2011, Mostafa clarified that through a text while I was trying to tell him that I was not a saint! He wrote:"Look! I loved V (the girlfriend who left him) very much. Now, I have the same feelings for you, except it's been multiplied! I love you so much more than her!"
I was rejecting him now! I loved him dearly, but as a friend. Or was he really just a friend? I didn't know, but I didn't want to lose his friendship. I wanted to love him, but what if we couldn't work it out and went our separate ways one day? We could not be friends then!
So I just ignored what he said, and I did one of the worst things I could do...
I started dating another guy a few days after that!!!
It wasn't a game or a strategy to me! I liked that guy, and I had not taken Mostafa so seriously. So when he texted a few days later, I had just been to my second date with the other guy and was also really pissed that Mostafa had not texted me in a few days!! Maybe it was a sign and I should have noticed that if I am angry about not being in touch with him, so I do care about him, but instead, I told him that I was seeing someone else...
Ok guys, it's half past two now, and I really need to get some sleep because I have a gym session in the morning. See you later... Comment me about what you've read so far. Love you all...
